B"H
Shavuot is ahead and this Tuesday night, thousands of Jews are going to study the night through and thus doing their "Tikkun Leil Shavuot". Shavuot is the Jewish holiday where G - d gave the Torah to the Jews at Mount Sinai (Har Sinai) and our task is to accept the Torah with the same enthusiasm, as our ancestors did.
The Talmud Tractate Shabbat 88 teaches that, at Har Sinai, the Jews didn't fully accept the Torah but rather out of fear. The moment they fully accepted the Torah was in Shushan when Haman prepared his extermination attempt but the Jews were saved by Esther and Mordechai.
Shavuot is a nice holiday with so much joy and great Shiurim at night. Even in secular Tel Aviv, secular Jews love to participate in the famous "Tikkun Leil Shavuot" and religious lectures will be crowded. Of course, what is missing in the Tel Aviv but Jerusalem easily provides: The walk to the Kotel (Western Wall) at 4am on Wednesday. Thousands of Jews will be going to the Kotel throughout the entire night and pray Shacharit.
I am not the kind of person staying awake an entire night in order to study. I have done this in the past with the result that my Shavuot was finished. I felt bad, went to bed and hardly got up for a very late Kiddush and lunch.
A famous Jewish custom on Shavuot is "eating dairy products" such as cheese cake, cheese, milk, yoghurts or even lasagne. But be aware that the prices for those products will be up before Shavuot !
The question I am asking myself before every Shavuot is whether I am ready for the festival. There is this feeling of getting ready and being ready for the Torah. Am I ready ? I would rather not think about an answer.:-)
But the festival of Shavuot always reminds of my worst Shavuot ever taking place at the haredi neighbourhood of Kiryat Mattersdorf in Jerusalem.
It was on Shavuot in 1997, when I was still studying with the national religious but started moving over into a haredi direction. Some girls from a haredi Ba'alei Teshuva Seminary located in Kiryat Mattersdorf invited me to stay with them on Shavuot. In Israel, Shavuot only consists of one day whereas in the Diaspora, Shavuot is being celebrated on two days.
"Well, on day or a few hours with the haredi girls I can manage", I thought. In case if not, I could walk back to my seminary dormitory any time, as it wasn't too far away.
I went to Kiryat Matterdorf but already on the way, I started feeling sick. Not because of the frum surrounding but because I had caught a virus. When I arrived at the seminary, the girls sent me to lay down in order to feel better in the evening. The plan was to go to some families for dinner.
I didn't feel better but worse. Fever and the feeling of throwing up any minute. Shavuot seemed to be over for me but nor according to my roomate. My roomate for the day was a German woman and the first thing she did when she entered the room was spotting out Muktzeh items such as pens on a table and throwing them aside. I wouldn't have touched those pens anyway.
My Shavuot got worse. I was sick and at the edge of sticking my head into the toilet and this German woman announced that she had organized a dinner invitation with her friends. I must come because it is a holiday and we have to fulfill our Mitzvah. However, my only Mitzvah seemed to consist of staying in bed or at least near a toilet.
She dragged me to this family and I remember that they were very nice indeed. What I cannot remember is any name or face. I think they were litvish and I was sitting half unconscious at the table and trying not to throw up over the Kiddush cups. I remember this great lasagne they served and I even had a small piece. The rest of my memory is gone and the only thing I remember is my roommate telling me all about this family and how I should behave.
I think I fell asleep at the table and finally made it back to bed at the seminary. Then the next shocking announcement took place: The walk to the Kotel in the morning.
I didn't go but stayed in bed. At noon I got so fed up with seeing those who hadn't gone to the Kotel sitting and saying Tehillim (Psalms) that I just left. The girls were worried whether I can make it make alone but I managed. I just wanted to escape from those rules, sticky atmosphere, good behaviour and pressure.
Back at my own seminary dormitory, my roommates were happy and having discussions. No Tehillim, no "Do this, do that" but fun. I went back to bed but got up after an hour. Suddenly I felt much better and after another hour or two, I was healthy again. The virus seemed to be gone and I myself couldn't believe it.
It was the first time I realized that one may be perfect in one way and doing all the holiday programmes from the beginning until the end; however, sometimes I wish there was a little more Rachmunes (mercy) with those who have a different mind set or are just not as "perfect" as others. We all have our potential and should try using it. But my potential is not that of this particular roommate dragging me to the lasagne and my potential is not spending an entire day with the "Book of Tehillim".
