Whose fault is it ?

B"H

Some months ago a guy made a strange speech at my rabbi's house. The guy was at the end of his fourties and is originally from Canada. I have already known him for a few years but just by sight. I only know that he was homeless at the time when he made the speech. Now it looks like as if he has finally sorted out his life.

Anyway, in his speech he accused the rabbis and two different Yeshivot in Jerusalem of having destroyed his life. In none of the Yeshivot he got adjusted and the rabbis were not of a great help either. Eventually he left. He not only left the Yeshiva but also religion and became completely irreligious.
I wanted to get up and tell him something but I did not. The truth is that I did not want to get into a fight with him.

There are plenty of people complaining about their hard and depressing Yeshiva life. I know from my own experience that it really can be very depressing. However, as soon as I feel that I don't fit in for whatever reason, I do leave. I still have free choice. Either I am going to look for a different place or try to find friends or a rabbi to talk to. But giving up Yeshiva does not mean giving up religion.

I can understand that people might be disappointed from the system and its pressure but one can still keep Mitzvot and lead a religious life. Not everyone fits into the haredi or another religious society, however, one should try to manage his own life and not blaming everybody else when he does not succeed. Some people are simply not made for the Yeshiva life and have to learn to accept it.