Thoughts on Jewish Prayer

B"H

Already a few times I had been asked, if it is possible to say prayers in our own words, and not only the text as it is written in the Sidur. About ten years ago, I was asking the same question myself. And what about Tehillim (Psalms) ? Do I have to say them even I might feel that they talk about King David's problems without having anything to do with me ? The answer to the last question I found out very quickly. If you look at the Tehillim carefully you will realize that they also include our own problems.

First of all, a Jew has to pray three times a day by using to the Sidur. In the Amidah (silent prayer) one can add certain requests such as a job, a Shidduch or even a lottery win. If you ask for a Shidduch, one thing you cannot do: mentioning the name of a beloved person. Rather pray without mentioning a name, as it is up to G-d to find the right Shidduch or match for you.
The three daily main prayers should be said with a Minyan in the synagogue. Community prayer plays a very important role even if we sometimes feel that there we cannot really express our own personal needs. It has a great spiritual impact if each person in the synagogue is really concentrating on his prayer. Then the whole community is becoming a whole (Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz in his book "A Guide to Jewish Prayer).
Who ever prays at home alone should to so in a room with a window (Talmud Berachot). In case we do not pray in a room with a window, we might only see ourselves. However, we should realize that there are other people in this world and a window makes this very clear. According to others another reason is that through a window we can see the sky.

Especially chassidim very much emphasize the Hitbodedut. Rabbi Nachman of Breslov said that each person should speak to G-d at least for one hour every day. If you don't have an hour so speak to G-d for twenty minutes or whatever time you have available. Speak to Him in your own personal words. According to Rabbi Nachman one can do this in a forest, in a field or alone at home.

If you have a request such as a better income, health etc., you should ask G-d for help. It says that no prayer remains unanswered. But if and when your requests are being fulfilled is up to G-d. Sometimes people expect an immediate answer and if nothing is happening they just give up.
Some time ago, I was at the Western Wall (Kotel) on a Shabbat morning. I saw an Israeli family and a woman asked her mother if she wants to put a piece of paper into the wall. No, said the mother, I did so last year and nothing has ever happened since.
This is a good example for how not to think. We simply cannot expect that five minutes after finishing the prayer, the mailman is standing in the door way and informing us about our lottery win.

In community and personal prayers we should show Kavanah (concentration). It is very human that our minds start wandering around. The Baal Shem Tov said that if this is happening to us, at the same moment we should continue concentrating and then negative thoughts are becoming positive ones.
Many chassidic rabbis such as Rabbi Nachman of Breslov say that we should say prayers coming from our heart rather then involving our minds. When you look into the Sidur and start searching for an intellectual meaning of the prayer you are getting lost. You think and don't pray any more. A real serious prayer only comes from the heart. According to Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz, the best prayers are the ones you say when you are in trouble. Then it comes out spontaneously and only from you heart.
Every day, you should say your prayers with a new intension. As my Rabbi, Rabbi Mordechai Machlis, likes to say: Who ever prayed exactly the same today as he did yesterday, hasn't really prayed today. Hence, prayers should never become a routine.
Another important thing is praying for other people as well. It says that if you pray for others your requests are being fulfilled first.
Sometimes we face situations where we can simply not pray. We are just not being in the right mood. In those times, we should still pray the three main prayers and we could add a short prayer for being able to pray.

Rabbi Adin Steinsaltz also mentions another prayer method. Many people like to pray with music. In Jerusalem you can see many people going to the Kotel and singing Psalms on their way. (I am talking here about religious Jews and not some Christian nutcases.)
Already at Temple times, music played an important role in the Temple service. It makes it much easier for people to get a better access and expressing their emotions. Last Shabbat I was at Rabbi Meir Weiner's house for the third meal. Among the others guests was a mother with her handicapped son. He was sitting in a wheel –chair and could hardly talk. As soon as we started singing Zemirot, he started singing enthusiastically by just being caught by the melodies.
One of the most famous rabbis for praying with songs was, of course, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach. Today, you can find many many Shlomo – Minyanim all over Jerusalem. But already King David (Shlomo HaMelech) composed melodies for his Tehillim.
When you go to a chassidic Tish, you will hear prayers together with songs. Music in prayer has a special power to cause emotions we would never express otherwise. In case, you haven't had this experience yet, maybe it is time for you to try.