An Isolated Society ?

B"H

Someone sent me a comment where he claims that many haredim separate themselves too much from ordinary Jewish society.

My answer is that it very much depends on the haredi himself as well as on other important factors. Generally I don't think that the haredi life is so much different from that of regular Jews. Each of us is only human and has his strenght and weaknesses, and each of us has to make a living, have a family, raise children, etc. Sometimes non - haredi Jews make the mistake to look only onto the outside of the haredi world. What they see is a dark suit, a white shirt, a black hat and women with wigs and long dresses. Furthermore, many haredim seem to live in their own neighbourhoods. Especially in Israel where there are whole haredi settlements such as Beitar Illit or Kiryat Sefer.

Just forget about all the clothes, the streimels and black hats for a while. If you ever had a question, it doesn't matter what kind of question, have haredim ever refused to give you an answer ? Let's say that someone is really interested in the haredi world or has a religious question, would a haredi just walk away or yell at him ?
Many times it is much easier to get into touch with haredim as you might think. I admit that it depends on your approach and it goes without saying that most times a man should talk to a man and a woman to a woman (I am talking about the general case and I know that there are many exceptions).

On the other hand, I read countless comments on the Internet about Jews going into haredi neighbourhoods (in most cases Mea Shearim was mentioned) and the local population starts yelling at them. Let me tell you that I have been to Mea Shearim at least a thousand times but no one ever yelled at me. Even when I was walking through Mea Shearim Street in jeans. I don’t know what those people writing these comments said or did, but it never ever happened to me.
This doesn't mean that I am denying that there are chassidim shouting at outsiders. Unfortunately there are such cases.

One who is not too familiar with haredim at all might get the idea that there are either especially holy or rather strange. However, don't make the mistake and judge a person only from the outside. There are holy and unholy people in this world and every society has its good and bad points. Not everyone wearing a streimel is the most holiest person in the world.

Haredim can be very open but, of course, there is another side as well. In their opinion, there has to be a certain separation from non - haredi Jews. Even from the national religious.
First of all, haredim have their own life style which includes certain society rules. If someone is haredi it is very natural that he wants his children to play with other haredi children. And where is it easy to find other haredi friends ? Right, in a haredi neighbourhood. Being haredi means mostly society pressure. All your neighbours are watching you even if they don't intend to do so. It doesn't matter if it is in the Kollel, in the street or at your doorstep. Your are a black hat and everyone knows everything or thinks that he knows everything. At least in Israel where I live. Israel is a tiny country anyway and gossip is spreading fast.

Being haredi means also that one is prepared to overcome a materialistic lifestyle or they would call it a destructive secular lifestyle. It is much better living in a haredi neighbourhood where the inhabitants are not confronted with cinemas, advertising posters with half naked women, pop music coming out of a shop, etc. From a haredi point of view it is much easier to overcome a yetzer in a religious neighbourhood, as there aren't too many temptations. But not every haredi is prepared to live in such a hood at all. As I said before, it very much depends on how religious someone is, how far he wants to go and what influences him in a negative or positive way.

Once dealing with haredim you will learn how to respond and you will just get used to them. I don't have a perfect solution for solving society problems between the haredi (litvish and chassidic), the national religious, the traditional or secular world. The best is always getting to know and to respect each other. Now you might say that this is exactly the point. He or she does not respect my way of life whatever this may be.

But none of us should forget that Yom Kippur is coming up and that the reason for the destruction of the Second Temple was Sinat Chiman - baseless hatred. No one should be so sure about himself that she or he is the most perfect religious person. My group is not better than your group etc.

But getting more Achdut into our Jewish society doesn’t only depend on the haredi world. It depends on all of us and even the most secular Jews should try to show some respect to the religious and not only look for their faults.