New Situations

B"H

Last Friday night we could hardly believe our eyes; after approx. six weeks, the Toldot Aharon Rebbe, Rabbi David Kahn, had returned from Austria (Saalbach) and gave another Tish.

When my friend and me first arrived at the Toldot Aharon synagogue, the entrances seemed to be abandoned and we already thought that there won't be anything. I had already made up a new plan which was going home, get some sleep in order to get up early and go to the Shomrei Emunim shul the next morning. Nevertheless, I finally asked a Toldot Aharon woman who was walking along with her children and she said that there is a Tish and she is also going.

We came a little too early and Rebbe Kahn hadn't arrived yet. It turned out to be favourably for us, as we had the choice of the best seats. We chose a seat almost right behind the Rebbitzen who obviously seems to be a great woman. She was talking to many women and what I really like is that she is just like anyone else. She doesn’t have a special chair and doesn't want royal treatment. Just the same as her husband who also refers to all his Chassidim and shakes hands.

The synagogue was packed after a few more minutes and the Rebbe walked in. The two women's sides were full and people were climbing everywhere in order to get a good seat. Suddenly we found ourselves in the middle of almost a hundred Toldot Aharon women.
Well, it looked a little strange, as the married women, of course, wore their regular white Shabbat hair cover called Yasameh. My friend and I were the only women at our age having hair, as the Toldot Aharon women follow a Hungarian custom and shave it off one or two days after their wedding.

What really surprised us positively was how friendly they related to us. Honestly, we didn't expect them handing out their private mineral water to us. However, we were asked if we would like to have some, and as we agreed we were also told that we should include someone ill into the Beracha. They told us a name which I, unfortunately, forgot after a few hours.

All the women sitting next to us were extremely friendly and said "Gut Shabbes - Shabbat Shalom". My friend doesn’t speak Hebrew (only English) and as soon as they talk to us, each of them only talks to me and I have to translate. Fortunately, I understand lots of Yiddish as well but usually the women refer to me in Hebrew.

Before Rebbe David Kahn started his vacation, we had been to the Toldot Aharon Tish twice and several times to their split - off Toldot Avraham Yitzchak. We had spoken to some people but, due to the holidays, hadn't been able to create closer relations.

This is why we couldn't believe that many Toldot Aharon women still remembered us. One very young women came straight to me and asked if I still remember her. I looked into her eyes and didn't know what to say. Finally I said YES but this was a white lie. Well, later on I did remember her, I have to say.
She sat down beside me and I had the feeling that she wanted to talk to me. I have to admit that I was very tired that night and, therefore, wasn't really in my communication mood. However, I thought about how I could start a conversation with her.

Well, you might suggest now that I could have started with a simple question about the group but this is exactly what I tried to avoid. The young woman didn't look to happy. Actually she looked very depressed and didn't speak to anyone else. And no one spoke to her. It seems that she must have got married only recently because she looks so young. Not older than 19 or 20. I was wandering what she wanted to say but couldn't find a start of a conversation. Nothing came into my mind and so we didn't speak. Maybe next Friday, who knows.

My friend got exactly the same impression and we spoke about it after the Tish was finished at 2.30 am. When we started going to the Tishes we actually wanted to be, more or less, anonymous, and suddenly we realized that people start recognizing us. Another point we discussed is how far we want to attach ourselves to a group. First of all, we are not one of them and we both agreed that Toldot Aharon are too much for us. We could never join such a group and guessed for how long we could live like that. Probably not longer then a few weeks.

The Tishes have changed us and we already have attached ourselves to the groups. At least emotionally. So far, we would not join any group but enjoy very much going there. I do study Chassidut and learn much more about all the backgrounds. It might sound strange but personally I love it but, at the same time, I am too scared to become one of them. The problem is within myself and I haven't found a solution yet. But one thing I know for sure, I will continue going to the Tishes.