Is Fanaticism the way to Integration ?

B"H

This is not the only and probably not the last time for me writing about the issue. The fanatism of people converting to Judaism.

Of course, you are free to argue that also the Jewish born newly religious, the so - called Baalei Teshuva, are not free from fanaticism. However, the two kinds are very different from each other.

The convert strives for two main goals:

Being accepted within the orthodox society and leaving his non - Jewish past behind him.

There are plenty of different ways attaining these goals. One important thing is with whom you converted to Judaism and where exactly you see your place in society. People usually converting with the chief rabbinate of Jerusalem (the Rabbanut) are more moderate and don't go for extreme fanaticism. The worst is when they tell born Jews what to do and how. They have been hardly Jewish for a few weeks and seem to know everything. This way, they will not be accepted by anyone but just continue going on the born Jewish nerves.

The typical convert who wants to be very frum is screaming out loud his Beracha over the food. As soon as I face such a situation I know the person has just converted to Judaism. Others keep on asking what time it is and emphasize that they just ate meat have have to wait for a few more hours in order to be able of eating dairy again.

Who cares ?

I don't have to know this. It goes on my nerves.

But there is the second and more extreme type of convert.
The ones who either convert in a normal haredi way (but not with the Rabbanut) or the ones converting with the Edah HaCharedit. Of course, someone converting with the Edah is expected to be totally absorbed in Mea Shearim or another chassidic area. Usually I cannot talk to them anyway due to modesty reasons. At least not to the male candidates.

Especially the ones converting with the Edah HaCharedit are going to join certain chassidic groups afterwards. The converts are prepared to give up their former lives and friends. No connection anymore whatsoever. This is also understandable because you are entering a new stage in your life where you simply don't want an environment which is not according to your latest standards. Your former life could bother you with the goals in your new one. Once you are a member of a chassidic group, you will find a new environment and new friends. A couple might even a kind of adopt you. And even if you met your former friends or maybe your parents, what would be the topic of your talks ?

Is there a topic left at all ?
You are in your world with completely new experiences and the outsiders might bombard you with questions bothering you. The topics just don't apply to you anymore. What do they know about your new life and friends ?

The converts ambition is to get accepted by the other members of the chassidic group. Although many new members joined different groups after the Holocaust, today there is a totally different reality. A Chassid Gur told me lately that most Gerer Chassidim today joined after only the Holocaust. The same I heard from a Belzer Chassid. The same, by the way, happened Satmar.
When Rebbe Yoel Teitelbaum came to New York and built his community in Williamsburgh, most people joining him were newcomers and not his old students from Satmar.

Obviously they were more accepted from the very beginning. Today, however, it happens quite often that as a convert you are being looked down on. Some might even tell you something negative or just be rude to you. Another thing are the Shidduchim where a convert only gets partners who also converted. This, by the way, is not only a chassidic matter but also takes place in the national religious and litvishe world.

But the questions remains:
How far can a Ger Zedek (a righteous convert) really get in a chassidic group like, let's say, Vishnitz, Satmar or Toldot Aharon ?

The convert himself takes over the mentality that he would be accepted if he was totally perfect. Perfect in any imaginable way. Just show the others your own perfection and then they will be so impressed. Wow, what a conclusion.

Once I had a flatmate like this. She did anything one can imagine; she helped out here and there, ran to the synagogues, took over customs, just anything. Did it help anything ? NO.

So, why bother ? Just be who you are and if the others don't accept you, it is their problem.

Many converts are also looking for a frame, an approach.
As I wrote in a former article:
People from outside Judaism look for a home as well. They have no customs, no Jewish family, no nothing, and then they find their personal home in a chassidic group. Why not ? This is nothing bad.

The only negative thing is when the convert cannot accept his former non - Jewish life and struggles a for lifetime to impress the other members. Sometimes it is much more positive being yourself and not fighting for recognition. The surprising result might be that the group members accept you much more than being bothered by someone going onto their nerves by constantly showing his perfection.