Out of the Blue

B"H

After Shabbat, I usually write about the chassidic Tishes my friend and I visited, but this time I am writing in a rather unsual way. I am writing about the Tish without mentioning the group's name.

What I can say is that for Maariv we went to the Karlin - Stolin Synagogue and had dinner afterwards at Rabbi Mordechai Machlise's house. At the dinner table I met a mother and her son from Luxembourg who are readers of my German blogs. When I saw them eating in such a distinguished way, I realized how "disgusting" Israeli I already am. The mother took a knife and put the Humus gently on her slice of Challah. We non - behaving locals on the other hand, just dipped the Challah into the Humus.

Right after dinner, my friend and I went to a chassidic Tish. First, I wasn't really planning to go to this particular Tish, as I wanted to see something else. However, on our way out of the Machlis building someone said that he is going to this group so I decided to go as well. We have been to this particular chassidic group many many times before and although located in Mea Shearim, they are considered as a little more moderate.

There was nothing unusual with the Tish. However, the Chassidim seemed to be still tired from Purim and the Rebbe had to wake them up. Slowly slowly he succeeded and they started to sing and participate. The Ezrat Nashim looked rather abandoned. First we couldn't find a good seat and decided to stand right behind some women behind the Mechitzah. It didn't take too long and an approx. 13 - year - old - girl from the group approached my friend in Yiddish and Hebrew. As my friend doesn’t really speak one of these languages, she referred the girl to me. I told her that I understand Yiddish but my talking isn't too good.
No problem, she spoke Hebrew.

Right away the girl invited us for a Shabbat dinner in her home. She said that her father is a Rosh Yeshiva in a different part of the country and his Yeshiva takes care of young guys who were thrown out of other Yeshivot. Guys with all kinds of personal problems. In order not to loose them to the secular society, her father gives them and chance and tries to keep them on the religious path. Furthermore, he offers Shabbat meals in his Mea Shearim home. Especially for American Yeshiva guys but we are also invited.

I was very happy about the invitation. Not only right into the heart of Mea Shearim but I started to become interested in speaking to her father about his Yeshiva. How does it work within closed chassidic society dealing with rebels or those "off the derech". I didn't really ask for her address but instead we talked about how important it is keeping such people in the religious world. We had a very open conversation and despite her young age, she seemed to be very mature. I told her that I do understand people who want to leave chassidic society. Not everyone born into it fits into Satmar, Vishnitz or any other group. Many people don't fit into any group and rather need a life without all the society pressure. The girl agreed which surprised me a bit. But, as I said, despite her age she reminded me more of a social worker than of a chassidic girl from a closed society.

Both of us enjoyed the conversation and more and more women and young girls moved a little closer in order to listen. I can assure you that there were many women who showed extreme interest in our conversation and liked to listen to it. However, two elderly women did not. Suddenly another teenager girl appeared and whispered something into the ear of the girl I was talking to. Within seconds, the girl said "Shabbat Shalom" and disappeared. This was the end of our conversation.

My friend then told me that two women had watched us all the time. Well, we already noticed these two women a while ago, as they were always watching us. As soon as they saw us, they started whispering among each other. Once I thought about going over to them and ask if they have a problem but in the end, I didn't. Why should I do this ? If they have a question or problem, they should come over and clarify everything. My impression is that these particular women are some kind of gossips and from a chassidic woman I do expect a certain kind of behaviour and not whispering Lashon HaRah (idle talk) behind someone's back.

Obviously one of the women had sent another teenager who told the girl not to speak to us. I simply call this a "Chutzpah".
The strange thing was that the girl I had spoken was constantly watching me from her new seat. Other women did the same and even smiled at me. Even the Rebbitzen and I am sure that the Rebbitzen didn't know at all what was going on. I, on the other hand, decided to stay davka. We even found good seats. The two women kept quiet and stopped watching us. I wasn't upset but started thinking if I ever could join a group. Most of the time I am very open and talk in an open manner. If I entered such a society, they would probably fire me after two weeks. Maybe even after two days.
I felt sorry for the girl and hope that she is not in trouble.
Half an hour later, the girl came up to me again. She did so in a hidden way; behind the metal benches. She told me that she is leaving now and we both had the look in our eyes that we will continue the discussion at another time and somewhere else.

To be quite honest, I am not sure what to do. Should we go back to the same Tish this coming Shabbat or would it look too obvious. We have nothing to hide and I don't see the point why we should give in to two gossip women. My friend claimed that those women might only want to protect their own society. A point I don't really accept. If I have a problem with someone, so I go at least over for clarification. And besides, one of the women was very busy herself talking to two Israeli girls and explaining them the Tish and the Rebbe.

One thing for sure: We will go back but I don't know if this will be this week. I definitely want to speak to the girl again and would love to go to her home for Shabbat. It would be great speaking to her father about "off the derech - difficulties" in chassidic society.