Semachot and Head Covers

B"H

It is quiet during the summer months of July and August. The Yeshivot are closed and most Rebbes are gone on vacation. Someone told me that the Rebbes really need those long vacations in order to get some rest. Once back at home, all their Chassidim don't leave them alone for one minute. Questions, blessings, anything, and a chassidic Rebbe has hardly ever off.

This Shabbat, however, there was some action, as the chassidic group Ruzhin – Boyan is celebrating a huge wedding this Tuesday. One of the sons of their Rebbe is getting married to an English girl, and the "Aufruf" took place last Shabbat. I went but missed the whole ceremony with throwing the sweets for about five minutes. This happens when one celebrates too much the night before and cannot get up in the morning.

After the Synagogue service, the Boyaner gave a huge meal on the ground floor of their Synagogue in the Jerusalem neighbourhood of Ge'ulah. Many women helped setting up the tables. So far, I have only been to one chassidic Tish of the Boyaner but already then I got to know a woman who obviously is in charge of the Ezrat Nashim (women's side of the Synagogue). As soon as I entered last Shabbat, she recognized me, came up to me and shook my hand. But she was so busy organizing the upcoming meal that we didn't have time to talk. The Synagogue, however, was extremely crowded. As usual, the space around the Ezrat Nashim looked like a parking lot for baby carriages. Downstairs, in the men's section, were many Chassidim from other groups. Apparently many Karliner. The night before, I had been to the Karlin – Stolin Synagogue where it was also packed. At least the men's side.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time to stay for too long at Boyan and thus wasn't able to participate in the meal. Really a pity but I was invited to a family in the nearby Mea Shearim.

Every time I am going to this family in Mea Shearim, the host asks me at least twenty times, not to mention their name, location or group name on the Internet. I do respect their request but I am able to say that men and women sit in two separate rooms. This takes place out of modesty reasons and whoever thinks that this sounds radical should take into consideration that, at least, we females are not being permanently starred at by some guys looking too desperately for a Shidduch (match) or go otherwise on the women's nerves.

The family lives in one of the backyards and many outsiders keep on asking me if the Chassidim in Mea Shearim invite outsiders. After some inquiries I can say that there are actually quite a few places for Shabbat hospitality. Even within the extreme group Toldot Aharon. However, many times it is an advantage to speak German or Yiddish. The best example is that I got to know one Toldot Aharon woman whose family does Shabbat hospitality but they prefer speaking German to the guests. German orthodox Jews and no Gentiles.

According to what I was able to find out, Gentiles don't have a chance of getting invited into Mea Shearim. It used to be a little different some years ago but in the meantime, many neighbours complained because you never know if there aren't missionaries walking around in the backyards. Another reason is that Gentiles didn't mostly behave too nicely.
Nevertheless, even we Jews need certain connections in order to get invited and it is definitely not so easy sometimes. But once you are in, you are in.

I was placed right across our host and next to me was an elderly woman from the neighbourhood (a grand – daughter of a very famous rabbi). Again, we had a great discussion in German and Yiddish and the two Israeli guests felt slightly lost.
I witnessed an interesting discussion which felt a kind of strange to me. Both women told me very openly about their head covers. Our host admitted that she shaves off her hair about every second week as soon as it starts growing again. She would cover her bald head with a tight head cover called "Haube" (Yiddish and German) and then she puts on her wig. This tradition was taught to her by her mother and our host was proud of keeping this tradition.

My thoughts turned out to be more practical and I asked if all these covers aren't too hot in the summer. "No", both women responded right away. "No, not at all".
Our host considers a Shmattes (rag) around the head as not modest enough because it could move and then everyone can see parts of the head. She only wears wigs made out of artificial hair. "This feels just like silk".
The elderly woman sitting next to me claimed that there is nothing wrong with wearing a Schammtes around the head. Some women would look much better wearing that than a wig. Especially those having a round head shape.

Our discussion continued for four hours and both women showed extreme fear that the younger generations wouldn't stick to the old traditions anymore. Just as the famous Chatam Sofer said: "Any change or new idea is forbidden".

I very much enjoyed our discussion and later on, our hosts daughters as well as the granddaughters join in. We talked about women's issues in chassidic society, as well as about Shidduchim (matches). In other words, plenty of material for me and I am still sorting out my thoughts. I am invited back and especially in September, I am going to call up further families. Especially those who like to speak German (even if can't stand this language). Additionally I am going to spend parts of the upcoming high holidays with the Mea Shearim family.