Gitty's World

B"H

The New Yorker chassidic and even non – chassidic world seems to be very busy with one subject these days. I read about the story in different blogs and websites and people are so excited. First I thought that I shouldn't really refer to it. Lot's of gossip and everyone has been writing about it anyway. But then, two days ago, I went to the Yahrzeit of Rabbi Mordechai Machlise's mother, Sarah Machlis, and witnessed a totally unnecessary argument among some of the guests. Two Brits, one was Jewish and the other wasn't, started gossiping about the haredi world. All of them (the Haredim) are parasites. No one works but everyone accepts the child's allowance and further money from the government. All Haredim are Neturei Karta but use the State of Israel for their own purposes.

Me and an acquaintance of mine who works as a haredi journalist for the Israeli radio channel "Kol Israel" tried to defend the Haredim. People who are not familiar with precise details about issues such as Neturei Karta, Haredim, Edah HaCharedit, etc. shouldn't be gossiping and spreading rumours. And this is what it is: rumours without any background information. People know absolutely nothing but think they have something to say.

Unfortunately, many Jews behave this way. I admit that there is lots of anger and frustration around. The Israeli governmental system allows Haredim to go to Yeshiva instead of joining the army or looking for a job. However, this also has been changing within the past few years. But people starting to talk about the Edah or Neturei Karta should at least be familiar with the subject. And this is why I now do refer to the latest New Yorker case.

Jews and Gentiles read the particular article in the "New York Magazine" and it is a pity that no real professional background explanations were given.

But let's have a look at the story first:


Almost three weeks ago, the "New York Magazine" published an article about a 23 – year – old woman who left the Satmar community in Kiryat Yoel. And since, Chassidim cannot stop talking about it and reading all the gossip. I know many Chassidim who do that and have a great laugh. At least, as long as it doesn't concern their own group. But Satmar; who doesn't want to hear more gossip about Satmar ? That's always interesting. The chassidic world is full of gossip and Satmar is one their favourite subjects.

Gitty Grunwald escaped from Satmar and is using the media in order to get her daughter back. Once, her mother used to be a hippie from a secular home. She came to Kiryat Yoel (Satmar town near New York) and found shelter. Then she became religious including a member in Satmar. Her daughter Sterna Gittel (Gitty) Grunwald grew up in the known extreme way. No TV, no contact with the outside world and as a young teenager she was married off to a Satmarer Chassid.
This is life in Kiryat Yoel and everywhere else in the haredi world. Nothing to be excited about because this is the way society works.

To make it short, Gitty didn't get along with her husband. Not in their bedroom and not anywhere else. In the meantime, Gitty also had discovered her own freedom and started to follow her own ways of life. The couple got divorced and Gitty left Kiryat Yoel together with her daughter Esther Miriam. A little later, her Ex snatched Esther Miriam from her and brought her back to Kiryat Yoel. Now Gitty went to the press and faces a court case for custody. She wants her 4 – year – old daughter back and raise her in a "normal" way and not like the "Taliban" (her own words) in Kiryat Yoel. A non – Jewish court is going to make the verdict.
A non – Jewish court ? No Beit Din ?
Nothing unusual for Satmar, as they have faced such a kind of court before when the two present Rebbes were fighting about leadership.

Since the article was published, countless blogs and other sites wrote about Gitty. Mostly in favour of her and in order to support her. Friends of hers even introduced a "Gitty – Site" where people can make donations. New York is expensive, her new life is expensive and so is the lawyer.

So far, I have lots of sympathy for Gitty and can understand her. But what the "New York Magazine" also publishes is a slideshow with the latest Gitty pictures. There, everyone can see her in different positions; even dressed in a bikini. Other Chassidim love this. Seeing a Satmarer Chassidiah in a bikini. What a laugh.

Gitty here, Gitty there, Gitty visiting her daughter, Gitty in Kiryat Yoel, Gitty with her mother, Gitty superstar.
New York has a new story and everyone is excited and is waiting for continuation.

Gitty is allowed to visit her daughter at Kiryat Yoel but only under Satmar supervision. Otherwise, so Satmar, she could be a bad influence to Esther Miriam and even stuff her with non – kosher food. Recently, the authorities discovered that Gitty used drugs. Her Ex must have been jumping in the air out of happiness. Wow, nothing better could have happened to him. His Ex - wife taking drugs but demanding custody. Satmar yes or no, no court in this world would give custody to a mother using drugs. That's it. Finished.

Gitty has been receiving plenty of comments from her readership all advising her to stop all the flaky behaviour and get her life in order. She needs a social worker or some modern – orthodox rabbi helping her in the outside world of Kiryat Yoel. It is truly not Gitty's fault being totally uneducated. Satmar has other plans for women and teaches them how to be a good housewife and mother. But, on the other hand, many people who visited Kiryat Yoel told me afterwards that almost every household has a computer at home. And the Satmar girls schools have been teaching computer classes for quite a while.

Now Gitty has to find her new paths. Organize her life, get a high school degree, a profession, responsibility. The problem within haredi society is what they teach their kids at school:
The secular world only consists of "sex and drugs (and "rock'n roll"). The secular would hang around the whole day and have one orgy after the other accompanied by heroine. An empty world without goals and spirituality.

The moment members of the chassidic world decide to leave they think that from now on they need to use drugs and have wild sex. This is what they learned at school about the outside world. And only this way, the secular are going to accept them in their society. This is typical haredi thought and I have been confronted with it a few times already. Once a former Chassid used our apartment for changing his clothes and later on, cutting off his peyos (side curls). The my flatmate (a cop) found injections and dumped the white power down the toilet.

When I left haredi society, my new start in life was much easier, as I knew the outside world. Other growing up that way don't even have a clue about normal schools let alone a university. How do you teach them to talk to the opposite sex when they are not married ? They have to be taught the smallest things, even to use a deodorant.

But coming back to Gitty Grunwald:
At the moment, she still seems to be without any orientation and real goal in life. She, literally speaking, has to learn life and how to manage it. In my opinion, only religious people should counsel her. A rabbi who is familiar with the chassidic world and its society. Only the Orthodox are able to understand what Gitty is going through. I know this from my own experience. What does it help going to a secular or non – Jewish psychiatrist who doesn't have a clue what you are talking about ? The result will be that most of the time you will be explaining them the haredi world. Too much time will be wasted with explanations. But when you are in a position like Gitty, you are longing for help right away. You want to talk now and need a person who knows what you say.

People gave Gitty lots of hope and best wishes for the future. Not only secular but also many Haredim. However, she has to take some action quickly because otherwise she will not win the court case. The more she hesitates, the more the judge is going to favour her Ex with a stable home and personality.

I wish Gitty all the best and hopefully she has friends who really help her.

There is so much to talk about the subject and I only mentioned a few important points. Nevertheless, it is very important not to spread any stereotype opinions around. People should neither judge Gitty nor Satmar. Each of them has its or her reasons and we have to look at both sides.