Forgetting how to live ?

B"H

Sometimes the variety of Halacha really strikes me. It may not even be the variety but rather the conclusions many Orthodox Jews draw. Conclusions where I, many times, don't know if they are right or wrong. They just seem to sound so incredible that, to me, they become totally irrational.

Not that G - d exclusively provided us with rationality - this is not what I mean and I better tell the story happening to me last Shabbat in order to express myself clearly.

I was at a rabbi's house and at the end of the meal we said Bircat HaMazon (Grace after the Meal). I reached out for a Bencher (book with prayers and songs) but the Bencher I grabbed was full of some sauce; apparently from the meal. My hand was dirty and sticky and I asked one of the rabbi's daughters if she can pass me a napkin.
She did.
However, the napkin alone didn't really clean my messed up hand and I could have just finished benching and then, on my way out, wash my hands in the kitchen. However, as there were at least 70 guests in the house, I thought about the line - up on the way out and that I may have an easier solution. I handed the napkin back and asked another daughter if she could wet the napkin so that I could clean up my hand with it. This time, the second daughter refused making the napkin wet. Her response was that she wasn't sure if she is allowed to do this on Shabbat.

This is the whole incident and it may just sound as nothing has happened. I don't know if the teenage girl was right and if there is such a Halacha. However, it simply came into my mind how "obssessed" people can be with all the laws.
G - d gave us the Torah and all the Mitzwot, no doubt about that. But, in many cases, it just seems far too exaggerated what humans did to Halacha. I mean making a napkin wet on Shabbat, does this fall under soaking and is forbidden ? But why then use wet rags or anything like that ? Or why use a napkin at all when it automatically may become wet or dirty or whatever ?

I am not complaining about the girl but I think that sometimes we just have to be more human and enjoy our lives instead of getting caught in millions of Halachot. Halachot made by us because of setting certain fences in order no to violate anything else.
If G - d really wanted us to become so obsessed with laws that we don't see anything else in life anymore ?