The Woman on the Ground

B"H

On my way through the haredi Ge'ulah neighbourhood in Jerusalem last Tuesday night, I witnessed a certain incident which I couldn't get out of my mind afterwards. A rather heavy haredi woman, maybe in her 50ies, stumpled and fell onto on knees on the ground. I didn't really saw her falling but when I looked over to the other side of the road, I saw her on her knees. Her face showed an expression of pain and she tried to get back on her feet.

Unfortunately, the traffic was so busy in the narrow shopping street Yechezkel that I couldn't cross the road and thus, was unable to help the woman getting up. There was no other help around but only an also fifty or something - year - old Chassid who was waiting for the traffic to stop so that he could cross the street.

The woman tried to get up but because she was so heavy, she tried to get hold of something in order to pull herself up. The Chassid stood right next to her and didn't know what to do. He looked at her and wanted to help but, at the same moment, he moved a little further away. On the one hand, it seemed like he wanted to help this poor woman and, on the other hand, he hesitated due to all the modesty laws. Not touching a strange woman but only one's own wife and maybe the daughters.

Eventually the woman got back on her feet and the Chassid walked away. I could see that he was still bothered from not having made a real decision but he was also relieved that the woman had got up.

Later on, when I arrived at the class of Rabbi Mordechai Machlis, I told him about the incident and asked how the right response of the Chassid should have been. If he shouldn't have just forgotten about all the modesty for a while and simply helped another human being ? And, by the way, the woman had not been a half - naked twenty year old girl but a haredi woman.

Rabbi Machlis quoted a teaching from the Talmud Tractate Sotah 21b where a Chassid is trying to be so pious by not helping a drowning woman that she finally dies. He couldn't overcome all the rules and get her out of the water and thus caused her death. The Talmud calls this Chassid a "Chassid Shoteh - a Foolish Pietist".
The Rambam (Maimonides) commentates that this particular Chasid not helping the drowning woman is taking his "piety" to foolish extremes.

The question comes up if helping someone from another gender only applies to the case where the person is in danger. We didn't really discuss that too much but Rabbi Machlise's opinion was that the Chassid should have given the woman laying on the ground a helping hand. "And does it matter if an injured woman is older and looks haredi or if she is twenty and dressed immodestly ? Injured is injured and we are obligated to help".

Already from an early age, haredi population learns all kinds of modesty rules. At a certain age, girls and boys are being separated and not allowed to play with each other unless they are siblings. According to Halach, men and women are only allowed to touch each other when they are either married or a parent. Anyone going against those rules would become an "outlaw" and considered as immodest. Lets say a "pervert".

The Chassid standing next to the woman must have all had these thoughts in mind. Unfortunately, he was unable to overcome all rules and society laws in order to help the woman laying on the ground. I cannot believe that helping another person should become suddenly a matter of gender.