Goals in Life

B"H

This Shabbat I am going to spend in Tel Aviv. So far, I haven't made any plans whatsoever but I think that I prefer having a quiet Shabbat. Relaxing, maybe go to the Synagogue at Chabad and walk a long the beach and in town.

The past few weeks, I spent in Jerusalem and this always means stress. Running to Rabbi Mordechai Machlis for the meals and going for a chassidic Tish. With a friend I went to the Toldot Aharon in Mea Shearim, as their Rebbe is back from Williamsburgh where he was celebrating the wedding of a close relative. Not to forget the donations he hopefully collected.

I don't know if it is just me but I have the feeling that the Toldot Aharon are growing and growing. Someone from the Toldot Aharon Yitzchak told me that the Toldot Aharon have plenty of newcomers into their group. Especially from the Baalei Teshuva (newly religious) movement.

I myself cannot understand how someone can become a Baal Teshuva and then look for the most extreme. According to my opinion it should be better if someone newly religious would take it slowly and decide about his final goals later. First see how it goes and everything. It can be that I keep on being skeptical because once I tried to be Haredi and failed. I failed because I am totally unable to live in a close society where Rabbis make any kinds of decisions and people watch you all the time. I need my freedom and read normal books, go to the cinema, have a TV, have a computer, in other words something "normal". Whatever "normal" means.
I am not a society person and I don't go with the stream.

Anyway I don't see myself as such a failure but look at it from the positive side. Not everyone is the same and G - d created us for different purposes and with different goals in life. I think that these reasons should be accepted even when it means that I am unable to live within haredi society. I looked for something else and this was, in the end, much more positive than struggling in a society where I don't belong and where I am unhappy. It is extremely important to accept this upon oneself and not to consider oneself as such a great failure because there are other goals and purposes where everyone is able to succeed. You just have to find them.

Shabbat Shalom - Gut Shabbes - to everyone.