Marriage for America

B"H

It was quite a while ago and I hope that in the meantime, both main figures of this story are happily married or at least, happy with their lives.

It was an Erev Shabbat and I together with a few other people were invited at my friend Channah's. Channah lives in Mea Shearim and has been married for many years to a Satmarer Chassid. Together, they have more than ten children of whom all are married and already have their own children.

Whoever comes to Channah's Shabbat meals has to get used to many things. Among other things, women and men do have separate seating; the women in the living room with the old Austrian red furniture, and the men sit right at the entrance door in front of the living room.

The separation is due to modesty reasons and usually Channah's husband is taking care of male visitors while Channah and her daughters like to talk to the females.

I was sitting next to the door and could spy into the men's section. A Satmarer Chassid at about my age was sitting there. Channah was running around with her dishes and told me that the guy was born in Hungary and had joined Chassidut Satmar only recently. To be honest, I already thought about how to manage a Shidduch date with the guy but Channah destroyed all my dreams. She announced that the guy had just got engaged with a very nice young American girl.

Who could that be ? Of course, a girl who had also found her way to Satmar and was ready to wear a hanky (white Tichel) over her wig on Shabbat.

Nevertheless, I was totally mistaken. A very nice young girl walked in and her face was shining. Her fiancée seemed to be happy as well but I was upset.

On the next day, we were all back at Channah's for lunch. This time, our host couldn't stop talking about the nice couple anymore. She just went on and on.

Afterwards I didn't see the couple for a few months and had already forgotten about the incident. But only until I once took a bus from the Kotel (Western Wall) to my religious neighbourhood where I used to live. The bus was packed with Haredim and suddenly someone tipped on my shoulder. It was the American girl from Channah's. I would have never recognized her but she did.

Curiously I asked if she and the Hungarian had finally got married.
She told me that the whole thing was just a disaster. "The only thing he wanted was my American passport in order to live in the States."

Every day he asked her at least a thousand times when she is ready to move to New York but she had made Aliyah and didn't intend to return to the US. As soon as he finally got the message, he left her. Or in other words, she kicked him out.
Probably he was already busy looking for another young American girl who believed his stories. The Satmar thing had just been his own show and he wasn't interested at all.

The girl was lucky to find that out before her wedding. And I was happy that I never had to face such a situation.

Maybe the Hungarian would have also liked a German passport, who knows. The only thing is that I am only an Israeli citizen, as I lost my German citizenship.