Not for me

B"H

It has nothing to do with yesterdays Tish but somehow it struck me. For quite some time I have been asking myself why I am completely unable to join a chassidic group. Is it the way of following just one rebbe or ideology ? Is it the kind of dress including wearing a skirt all the time ? Wearing a skirt can sometimes be a real pain and I am only a skirt type on Shabbat. That's enough for me.

But when I look at it, I could change. Even wearing a skirt.
First I thought that I am too lazy to make an effort. However, since last night, I really know why I could not join a group. The reason is very simple: I am just not made for a group. I cannot imagine joining all these women in a particular chassidic group, being one of them and sitting together in order to talk about women's issues. Cooking, kids, neighbours, household. This would totally bore me to death.

Not that I am intending to talk about Talmud studies, history, science or whatever. But being limited within a society and being forced to behave in a certain way in order to get accepted by the society is not for me. The thing which would bother me most is having no one to talk to.

Of course, many (especially those from Chabad) might claim that not all the women are uneducated and that it is possible to find someone to talk to. Chabad would say: "Come and join us, as we are the most intelligent Chassidut".

True or not, the closed women's clubs bother me and I am definitely not one of them.