B"H
Am I immodest ?
A Breslover Na Na Chassid seems to think so, as he feels the urgent need handing me out a book called "The modest Woman". As soon as he sees me in downtown Tel Aviv, he jumps on me. Not only onto me but on all females who, according to him or Halacha, are not dressed modestly. Instead of a long skirt I wear pants. However, my sleeves are fine and cover the elbow. So, no complaints about that.
I should have got used to it, nevertheless sometimes it still drives me mad when religious Jews judge other Jews according to the outside. Shouldn't especially a Chassid look into someone's soul (Neshama) first ? Well, not everyone is able to do so and now I have to suffer from the jumping Na Na Chassid. When I passed him last, I really thought about taking the book "The modest Woman". Giving a small donation and learning something about Zniut (modesty). I am also intending to ask the Na Na guy if he really thinks that I am immodest. I am just curious to see his face while asking him.
What do I expect ? Of course, haredi society considers me as immodest. Pants, uurrghhh.
However, within all my years living in Israel I learned one thing: One should not judge another Jew according to his outer appearance. Yes Kipa - No Kipa, black hat - knitted Kipa - no Kipa, skirt or pants ? What does it really tell us ?
You might be surprised how religious the non - Kipot can be. On the other hand, you might be surprised how neglecting the Haredim or the religious in general can be.
I am always asking myself how G - d "thinks" about the matter. Aren't we too obsessed with all the tiny details instead of judging with more "Kaf Se'chut - benefit of a doubt" ?
So, should I take the "modesty book", yes or no ?
Basically I already know what it says and I also know that it won't convince me. I could give a hundred explanations and justifications. At least G - d knows what is going on inside a person.
I don't remember seeing you in person even though I was one shabbos at the machles my question to you is what kind of pants do you wear maybe it's none of my business but my understanding of it is 1) you are rebelling against your mother who told you to put on dresses 2) you think that a women's clothes should be no iinterest to a man but I am sure you have heard the question which is responsable the mouse or the hole and the answer is the hole. you might be wearing pants because it's comfortable but wearing a dress over the pants is not as asur because you are covering up. The yeminite woman from taman still wear pants covered by a dress.
ReplyDeleteB"H
ReplyDeleteHello,
But I do remember you being at the Machlises, as that Friday night you were the only guy with a Streimel.:-)))
No, to the Machlises I do come in skirts. Until more than a year ago I used to come in pants but then changed my way of clothing. Also because we go to the Tishes afterwards.
I am not sure that I was davka rebelling against my mother but I just didn't want to wear her knitted skirts. :-)))
I do wear pants because they are comfortable. You can move and do anything, whereas with a skirt you always have to be careful. Especially when it is windy.
for a very long time i thought that a good Jewess should be dressed modestly and i also read some crazy books about tznius, very extreme advices, i was scared of the tznius things, even if i always made sure that i was modest.
ReplyDeleteAnd i had a friend who was very... i have no word for her, but the kind of woman who loves to look down at women for the way they dress and criticize but wouldn't apply what she says, ya know?!
well i had this very bad feeling for many months that a woman who is not tzanua is not worth. i remember one night i felt very very depressed i went to see my Rebbetzin who is a Lubavitcher, she is the sweetest woman i've ever seen, she is not very talkactive but when you know her... and she said "a chasid is a person who looks at your neshomo not the way you look", and she said "ok some girls can wear short skirts, or some pants, also religious women can like fashion and want to wear jean skirts etc, and some people criticize. Do they take the time to know the real personnality of the person?" she said "try to look at people the way they are not the way they dress", she was very helpful and now when some rabbis or their wives talks bad about non tznius women, i try to have my own opinion the person.
and yep you are right, the religious style people are not necessary the more religious, or at least they can be in appearance...
once i've learnt about that, and found myself both in accordance to tznius laws and to the real meaning of tznius (behavior, not to say lashon hora, the beauty of being someone and not something), i do not feel stuck into something i am much happier... and even more tzanua ahahah
B"H
ReplyDeleteIn Israel I learned very fast not to judge people by their clothes. I see many religious people, including Haredim, who wear Streimels, caftans, whatever, and are anything but religious.
On the other hand, I know many secular who are more religious than some religious.
It always depends on the person's character and one should never judge too fast.