B"H
Every time anew I am tremendously impressed by the piety of the Toldot Aharon women. Or realistically speaking: Their female group members grow up in a strict society, marry at the age of approx. 18 years and afterwards only lead a family life. Is there any room for feminism ? How can there if the group is run by a men's society ?
The women only have a women's role, housewife and mother. She might work if necessary. However, a woman will never be able to get a leading position within the group accept of being the Rebbitzen.
Most of us outsiders consider such way of life as primitive. How can a woman of our times agree to such conditions ? Welcome back in the Middle Ages. Never ever heard about feminism ?
What I realized is that you can have a great conversation with a Toldot Aharon woman but in the end she will only tell you one thing: "Well, we all need to pray harder and trust in G – d".
And this conclusion after a long time talking to her about anything.
And this is her only response ? Haven't we expected much more after a longer discussion ? I talked and talked and then this one sentence about prayer and G – d... Maybe I should just freak out.
However, I won't because at the same time, I know the women are right.
They are right and I tremendously admire their piety. How can they have such incredible unlimited trust in G – d ?
Look at us. Many times we say our prayers and many times we tend to give up. Our hopes, our desires and demands….
Nothing seems to be fulfilled and G – d is anywhere but not listening to our prayers. And then I see these women and they just do it. "Of course, we pray. Can there be a doubt about it ? What being in the mood or not ?"
They just do it without all the questioning and considering the pro and cons: "Maybe another time. How about tomorrow ? I really promise. Tomorrow is the day…"
We outsiders always think that we are so free. No group laws (Takanot) being forced upon us; everything seems cool and easy. There are times when our self – esteem of all our freedom overcomes us and we start looking down on these chassidic women. And then we go to a Toldot Aharon Tish and we realize that all our self – esteem and freedom means hardly anything compared to the piety of those women.
I wish I would get to such a level of piety.
We could look down on Haredim if secular society would have produced a perfect, free and fulfilling community as a whole; all happy people without failures, grave errors and catastrophic mishaps. 'Nuff said.
ReplyDeleteWhat I admire in the Haredi society is the acceptance of circumstances, the faith and sometime the sheer will power and also the slow but steady flexibility concerning 'modern' issues.
I know I would admire much more things but I am also realistic: We have choice, my wife has choice, you have choice - to do things and sometimes not do things. Sometimes on Shabbat I just lay in bed for one or two hours longer, being late for shul, because it's just too much fun to have the family around you, the baby crawling around, telling the world in general her latest ideas in baby-gibberish, the hot sun still being shut behind the wind blinds.
Everthing's easy. I knew that I would miss this kind of choice and thus, my life is going a completely different way, and I guess it is also very good so and I cannot complain.
The complaining starts when the baby starts to cry and suddenly I am very quick on my way to shul! :) Nah, just kidding.
B"H
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean because I am the same.
When I went to the Toldot Aharon Synagogue for Shacharit on Shabbat, I really got a bad conscience. The women there were praying without an end. And right at the end, one woman came up to me in order to show me something in the Sidur.
"The Rebbe is saying this verse now".
Well, I was impressed but know at the same time, that I couldn't be like them. It is probably easier when you grow up this way but if not, there are too many nice choices around.:-)))