A hard way to go

B"H

A friend of mine, Chana Baruch, died last week and after making Havdalah at the house of Rabbi Mordechai Machlis last night, a whole group of guests walked over to Chana's husband David who is sitting Shiva.

Going to a Shiva and especially writing about the subject before Rosh HaShana is never very pleasant. First of all, who wants to think or know about death right before a high holiday ? And I hate going to Shivas because I never know what to say and how to keep up a conversation with a mourner. In this respect, Sephardic Jews are much easier to handle than Ashkenazi Jews. For the Sepharadim every that matters is food. About a year and a half ago, I went to a Kurdish Shiva and I haven't even found the time to sit down, there was already a tray full of cake under my nose. This kind of environment makes it much easier that at an Ashkenazic Shiva.

Chana Baruch was only 59 - years - old when she died. For many years, she had come to the Machlis meals on a regular basis and people just loved her. She worked as a doctor for an Israeli Kupat Cholim and was very well respected.

After Havdalah, Rabbi Machlis made a long speech about her and some of us went over to Ramat Eshkol, where her husbands is sitting Shiva. While we were walking those 15 - 20 minutes, each of us probably thought about what to say to David. When we walked into his home, he was quite happy to see us and all of us said down and listened to his story about how his wife passed away. A lung infection and after a very short time, Chana passed away at the hospital.

Before going to a Shiva, I always fear not to be able to find the right words. But, once you are there, it doesn't seem too hard anymore and it always helps talking about the dead person.

Even if death is not the most pleasant subject to talk about, especially Rosh HaShana should remind us that everything and everyone of us depends on G - d. On Rosh HaShana, we crown G - d as our King, as it was Him alone creating this universe and us. And thus we have to accept that there are things we don't understand or cannot grasp. He has His reasons why and how He is running the world in this way and not in another. And as Rosh HaShana also stands for the birthday of Adam HaRishon and thus humankind, we are automatically reminded of how we were created and that we are all only mortal beings.

Shana Tova and Chatima Tova - Have a great, healthy and successful New Year and may you all be inscribed into the "Book of Life" !