Thoughts and Experiences

Mea Shearim


B"H

Just recently, a chassidic woman told me the following:
"If you want to receive all the necessary information for your writings, you have to do two things: You have to improve your Yiddish and you have to go alone to all the chassidic places.
Don't take anyone with you".

The woman was totally right but nevertheless, last Shabbat I took some people with me and the decision turned out to be positive and negative at the same time. However, it was an experience.

The negative point was that when you take people, you always have to wait for them. The worst is when they start complaining and they want to go home or they suddenly don't feel well. This can ruin the whole plan. And last Shabbat morning, the people I was waiting for got up too late and then didn't get ready. Changing clothes here and putting on makeup there. As we finally arrived at the Neturei Karta Synagogue, we found ourselves in front of locked doors.
After a short walk through the Mea Shearim market, we decided to go to a different synagogue. But when we arrived, they had already finished their Kiddush and the women were about to walk home. Too late again and shame on us.

However, two of the three girls I took decided to pray in the synagogue. Another young woman and me were waiting. And while we were waiting, my friend suggested that we should walk to the Kiddush. Eventually we didn't, as we missed the whole service and didn't think that it was fair just running after some cake. Nevertheless, my friend went over to one of the chassidic girls and asked if we could have a cold drink. It was boiling hot outside and we actually had a dry throat.

The girl reacted in a strange way. Okay, my friend from New York wasn't really dressed in a typical Mea Shearim fashion but she asked in a polite way. The girl just turned her head aside, just as if my friend didn't exist. My friend got upset and made a remark. Not particularly nasty but the girl understood. My friend walked into the Kiddush room and came out with two plastic cups of cold Coke. Then we talked about the situation with the chassidic teenage girl.

It was a disgrace how this girl had reacted and I could understand my friend being offended. Even if someone is not necessarily chassidic, however, he is Jewish. My friend said that this is exactly the behaviour turning secular Jews away from Haredim and worse, from religion. And G - d definitely didn't intend this when He gave us the Torah.

I told her that I totally agree with her but, unfortunately, this is what those kids learn at school today. Even if you call it a certain form of being careful with strangers, young Chassidim should at least answer a question. Judaism means to care for another Jew and not to turn him down in public, as this girl had done. It doesn't matter if someone comes from Mea Shearim or Ben Yehudah Street, a Jew should treat his fellow with respect. It is our task to to Tikunim (soul rectifications) and this we do by dealing with other people. Even strangers and not only in our backyard.



Chassidic children in Mea Shearim


After the two others had come back from their prayer, we started walking towards the house of our host. There, we were early and had plenty of time getting to know some other guests; a few Israeli girls from a national religious seminary.

Our host was in a great mood and I always enjoy the atmosphere sitting in her large Mea Shearim backyard. The former synagogue incident was almost forgotten and we were concentrating ourselves on the coming meal. I was placed next to an elderly lady and I asked her about the Fakshivilim (news posters) on all the walls of the houses. She was a local and I hoped to receive some information about their importance or non - importance. The lady said that it is always hard to understand the real meaning of those Fakshivilim and to differ what is Lashon HaRah (idle talk) and what is the opposite. "Once, she said, pamphlets were handed out in my synagogue where people claimed that the Hechsher (kosher certificate) of the Chatam Sofer was not kosher. I informed all my friends and later on it was announced that the Hechsher didn't have any problems".

In the meantime, our host took her seat at the table and her grandchildren started serving the meal. The host always loves to talk about women's modesty and even before we started, she had pulled me into a corner and told me that some of the girls weren't dressed too modestly. She (the host) would never ever make a Beracha (blessing) without sox. I responded that I cannot fix everybody and that in the end, people think that I am nuts.

Some minutes later, I was so busy eating that I first didn't realize what was supposed to happen. I just saw one of the national religious girls with wild curly hair running into the kitchen. After less than a minute she came back together with our host. Our host handed her a Bencher (for blessing after the meal) and the girl started crying. She was about twenty years old and our host said out loud that if you go into a restaurant, one also needs to pay. And it is the same with G - d. He provides you with food and you say a blessing in order to thank Him. Someone said that the girl doesn't feel well and intended to go home immediately.

Let's say that the girl really didn't feel well, she could have at least said a Beracha or at least pretend to say it. Instead she refused to say anything. Our host got upset and the girl finally walked out. Then the host told us a story that she had been in this kind of situation before. Once, another girl refused to bench. The host had told her: "Well, then you have to pay me for the meal".
Girl: "But it is Shabbat".
Host: "Well, then bench".
Girl: "No, I am not religious".

This kind of conversation went back and forth until the girl left. Months later she came back and announced that she is now studying at the frum seminary "Neve Yerushalaim".

"So, therefore you never know", continued the host, what will later on happen to the person".

I just thought that the girl running out was just a great example for a Baalei Teshuva crisis and suddenly I could understand born Haredim not wanting to marry a Baal Teshuva. It might sound cruel but, sick or not, the girl just shouldn't have reacted the way she did. Instead of fighting around and thus wasting time, she should have quickly benched. What is the problem ?

Afterwards I went over to Rabbi Mordechai Machlis where I just came on time for a further discussion.
The Rabbi had been to the Kotel (Western Wall) in the morning and witnessed a scene where a Japanese tourist wrote a note for the Kotel right in front of the wall. On Shabbat when writing is forbidden for Jews. A Haredi guy came over and started yelling at the Japanese tourist.

Rabbi Machlis asked us what the right response should have been, as yelling is definitely not the right reaction.

One of the guests said that there are warning signs all over the Kotel plaza where is says that writing, taking photos, smoking, etc. is forbidden on Shabbat.

The Rabbi said that one should have gone over to the Japanese and told him in a friendly way that there is no writing in front of the Kotel today. What would now be his impression of Jews by being yelled at ?

I made a speech and mentioned three different points:
Yes, there are warning signs all over but many secular Jews as well as non - Jews don't respect the way of religious Jews. If you go to such a place you have to behave in a certain way. Especially on Shabbat. And when you go into the Vatican, they also make you follow their own rules. One should at least show some respect.
Haredim are always afraid that their children pick up some anti - religious behaviour. Who know ? If the frum kiddies see such a Gentile they might later go "off - the - derech". This may sound exaggerated but for many Haredim it is a very disturbing idea.
And how much Chesed can we have ? Let's say we allow the Japanese to finish writing his note, couldn't there be more tourists doing the same next Shabbat ?

It goes without saying that the tourists shouldn't have been yelled at. It does give him a false impression but, on the other hand, if I travel to a foreign country, I do get informed a bit about their customs and rules.



Guests in the Machlis Home