A Matter of Personality

B"H

Someone from a religious Jewish Torah institution in Jerusalem asked me the following questions:

She went to the chassidic Tish of the Toldot Aharon in Mea Shearim and really loved it. Now she would like to take some friends from her Torah program to different Tishes in Mea Shearim. Which steps would I recommend.

The person asking me offered to teach her friends some basic details about chassidic Tishes. However, I told her that I cannot recommend taking a group to a chassidic Tish. First of all, the group members cannot ask too many questions and might disturb the Chassidim with their noisy talk. I have seen it a few times that a national religious girls' group streamed in, occupied many seats and than each of them started chattering.

It is important to teach the other people who are going to be part of a Tish - visiting - group about certain ways of behaviour and different facts about the Chassidut. However, extremely important is another point. Most guides don't take each individuals personality into consideration. How could they ?
Every single person in your group is going to react differently at a chassidic Tish. No, it is not the behavior; it is the new experience they have to deal with.
Some people take it "cool". "Okay, I have seen a Tish. Very nice".
Others, especially newcomers to the Jewish religion, could be too overwhelmed. They start imagining and seeing the chassidic society as something totally perfect. They imagine being a member or becoming a member. Even during the week, they are unable to think about something else.

This mostly happens to Baalei Teshuva and converts to Judaism and it is not easy to get their minds cleared. Chassidic society is not a perfect society but a society as anywhere else. Just go to Mea Shearim during the week and you won't find the Chassidim being in their most spiritual mood but rather busy managing their daily lives.

Despite all the proper Tish behaviour, one should never leave out the point of how to deal with the different personalities of different visitors. And, believe it or not, the Chassidim are very aware of this phenomenon and therefore very careful when someone shows up and asks to become a member of this particualr chassidic group.