Friday, October 3, 2008

When Righteousness becomes a "Chilul HaShem"

B"H

No, I am not intending to constantly attack the Baalei Teshuva movement (Jews becoming religious later on in their lives). What I do is writing about the daily experience I have with some newly religious and many times it comes to negative situations.

Not every Baal Teshuva is the same and there are actually severe differences; starting with the personal background until the choice of Yeshiva or Rabbi. The personal Teshuva development depends on various factors and many times, as I said, I have been confronted with negative aspects.

I am not generalizing but according to my experience, many young foreign Yeshiva students tend to turn in their fellow classmates. I had this experience with young guys and girls in their twenties; mostly from English speaking countries and newly religious. If another person doesn't agree or thinks in a rather individual way, especially girls tend to "tell the teachers (Rabbis or Madrichot)" that the person said such and such.

Within the past few weeks, I experienced this many times with girls from the litvishe women's Yeshiva "Neve Yerushalaim". Of course, it can be that this also happens in other religious institutions. And, not all the girls studying at Neve are the same. On the contrary. I got to know quite a few girls from Neve's Mechina Progam (introduction course) who were totally open minded and when I showed my surprise about their non - typical Neve behaviour, they just replied proudly: "Well, we are not typical Neve girls".

Why do I mention all this ? Shouldn't I rather keep quiet and give everyone a benefit of a doubt ?

I don't think so because I myself experienced how bad it can be when other people turn you in or are mean. They think that they are so righteous. Praying all the time and keeping Mitzwot. The moment you do something according to your own way or those girls don't have your understanding, they either try to correct you or talk behind your back to the person - in - charge.

Of course, they only mean "good" and it would never occur to them that they are gossiping and are simply unable to deal with different situations. Sometimes it seems easier running to the person - in - charge instead of making an own effort and try to solve a difficult situation.

What bothers me is their "righteousness". At least they think that they are so great. They only want to help but instead of doing so, they cause others to be fed up and run away from religion. Furthermore, such people always smile. They are so friendly and don't let you know directly what they are up to.
"Well, we didn't mean it that way or this is not our ideology and you have to understand it".
Then they give you such a big smile.

How many potential Baalei Teshuva have been turned away from making Teshuva by such false Zaddikim ?

If you are in such a situation you have two choices:
Either you keep quiet and don't show your anger or you blow up and face the consequences. And those consequences will be a big smile but an intensive talk behind your back.

With Israelis I have had completely different experiences. They are outspoken and tell you straight ahead whatever they think. Then, at least, you know where you are. I prefer this kind of behaviour much more than a smiley face full of false righteousness.

___________________________

Sorry, for sounding negative but this is what I have noticed lately, as some of the people I know got turned in very badly.

And if anyone should be offended or identify himself or herself with such "Zaddikim" let me tell you: "I am having such a big smile on my face while I am writing this".


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