Mitzwah YES, Bein Adam Le'Chavero NO

B"H

According to Talmud Yoma, the Second Temple was destroyed due to "Sinat Chinam - Baseless Hatred among the Jewish population". This is the official reason why G - d let it happen that the Romans destroyed the Temple at about 70 years after the beginning of the Common Era.

This reason is well known and today, we are not as sinful and ignorant, as we know everything much better than our ancestors. And, of course, we wouldn't make the same mistakes. How could the Jews in the desert built a Golden Calf (many commentators claim that it was the Erev Rav) and how could they constantly question G - d and complain ? We, today, would never make such mistakes and go on G - d's nerves.

But are we really that great ?
Everyone is talking about relating nicely to a fellow Jew and how we should be in Achdut (unity) because then Meshiach may come. We are ONE people and all Jews, no matter if haredi, national religious or secular, are part of a whole. But when do we really show unity ? Exactly, when we are in danger.

Nevertheless, how about our daily life ?
A chassidic woman in Mea Shearim recently told me that there are so many Goim living in Tel Aviv. "Goim", I asked and thought about the Gentiles such as foreign workers or tourists. After some time, however, I realized that the woman meant the secular Tel Aviv population and I told her that they are not Goim but Jews. Then we smoothly changed the subject.
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GOIM: This expression actually means NATIONS. Many times, people mistakenly think that the word "Goim" is a bad word for Gentiles but this assumption is wrong. It only means NATIONS and if you have a look into the Torah, there even G - d calls the Jews a "Goi Kadosh - A Holy People". Nevertheless, if people talk about Goi in connection with a non - Jew, then it basically is an expression for the Gentile.
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What I noticed among various Baalei Teshuva (Abbreviation: BTs - those Jews becoming religious in the course of their lives) is that especially they treat their fellow secular Jews as something negative and worth less. Many BTs feel so privileged to have found the right path and start considering everyone else as having an empty life and just running after Yetzers or meaningless worldly pleasures. "I am now religious and YOU, as someone secular, just don't get it and don't understand the real meaning of life. YOU are running after your instincts whereas I see the truth".

I have to add that these statements are according to my own experiences in Jerusalem. Among American and Israeli Baalei Teshuva !

The BTs don't always tell the secular what they think about them but rather treat them in a negative way. For instance, they don't listen to them, as their opinion doesn't count anyway. I saw many BTs just behaving in an extremely arrogant way towards the secular.

Sometimes I cannot help it and think that Meshiach doesn't show up because we don't have a real Bein Adam Le'Chavero relationship. Many Jews want to be better than others and "my child cannot play with your because your daughter is wearing a Jeans skirt and mine wouldn't even think about such clothes". It could be that I see thing much clearer since I moved to Tel Aviv. In Jerusalem you have a few 100.000 policemen watching you; hence the Jerusalemites themselves. No matter if religious or not, people in Jerusalem are always suspicious and watch what the neighbour does.
In Tel Aviv, however, you are a free person and no one cares if you have orange or green hair. Live your life and let other live as well.

What I cannot stand is the arrogance of how BTs react towards secular Jews. The BTs want to be so holy, pray and study Torah all the time but miss out the opportunity to relate to their fellow Jews. Not all BTs are like that and my intention is not to generalize. However, I have experienced many things in Jerusalem and it may be that it is simply the strange behaviour of the Jerusalemites where everything has to run in accordance with certain society ideas. If not, you are an outsider.
Turning other Jews away from religion is one of the worst Chilul HaShem (desecration of G – d's name) and a BT can pray as much as he likes, if he, through his behaviour, turned away a Jew from becoming religious, he is worse than any other person. I've seen this especially inside the Yeshiva world when a student didn't necessarily fit in or even at the Heritage House (a free hostel in Jerusalem). If you don't fit in, and you don't even have to go openly against the rules) you are out. Thanks to the present Madricha Chaya from the Heritage House, people got turned away and those who were planning to join a religious program changed their minds after being turned down because of saying something wrong.

A slightly different approach show those who are frum from birth (FFB). Most of the time, they are more patient with the secular and give them more chances instead of the pushy way. Of course, there are also exceptions.
Some might claim that Chabad and Breslov do plenty of outreach and try drawing Jews closer to their own religion.
Really ?
Isn't it especially Chabad trying to hammer its ideology into the heads of the newcomers and if you "fail" accepting them, you have to leave the group.