B"H
I was lunching in Mea Shearim last Shabbat. The family inviting me lives in one of the backyards; there where the Neturei Karta, Toldot Aharon, Toldot Avraham Yitzchak, Satmar and followers of the Chatam Sofer live.
I took a friend of mine with me and, to our surprise, we were alone with the host. As soon as the family has guests they start sitting in separate rooms and thus, the men were sitting in the small room right at the entrance whereas the women were placed in the livingroom right behind. We women only hear Kiddush but don't actually see it.
I know quite a few chassidic families following this procedure and one host even told me that she considers her decision separating the genders (only if the family is having guests) as her own Tikun (soul rectification).
After a while, a neighbour walked into our hosts livingroom. An American woman living in the same backyard and being Lubavitch (Chabad). This was a surprise and although the woman claimed not to be a Meshichist, she definitely was. Singing "Yechi Adoneinu …" at the table. Afterwards she took my friend and me to her home to show us her apartment and there I saw a "fresh" edition of the "Beit Moshiach" edition laying on the table.
She can be lucky that her neighbours haven't found out so far, as they would probably put a stick of dynamite into her mailbox.
People from Mea Shearim are extremely curious. So terrible curious that is sometimes goes on my nerves. As soon as they talk to you, they think they own you. Then you become their information slave. They listen carefully and slightly pick on you.
I was also picked on last Shabbat. I am in my early 40ies and not married. This is unbelievable and the 78 - year - old Lubavitcher together with our host from the Chatam Sofer went wild. Just imagine two old ladies driving you crazy with their questions and imaginations. The men next door even had to close the door to the livingroom when the two ladies screamed that I should do something with my womb and bear children. I didn't notice the door being closed because I thought that I am in the middle of a bad dream.
Here we are, two old Mea Shearim ladies talk about wombs and feelings.
The Lubavitcher eventually told us that she had got married at the age of 76 (Her second marriage, I think). To another Lubavitcher being a direct descendant of Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi. Ten days after the wedding, her husband had a heart attack. Well, I can imagine why.
Not all Haredim are like Mea Shearim but especially in that neighbourhood it is just unheard of that a woman of my age is single. As I pointed out that I am too busy and don't have the patience dealing with a husband the ladies just kept on saying that G - d created a woman to have children. I finally said that I used to have boyfriends and then the ladies got really excited.
As soon as I meet someone from Mea Shearim, two subjects are coming up:
1. Why am I still single and 2. Why am I not as religious as I obviously should be ? Wouldn't then my life be totally happy and perfect ? And when I respond with a NO, people are shocked.
It doesn't matter where, haredi society is always talking about Shidduchim and kids. At least the Lubavitcher told me that the Rebbe wasn't against the Internet and everything could be used for Kedusha (Holiness). The Chatam Sofer lady, however, fell almost off her chair, as for her a computer is evil and unacceptable. Already the Chatam Sofer rejected any new changes in life; everything has to go according to the old ways, as they have proven to be right.
The two old ladies found their own way of bringing me back onto the right track. The Lubavitcher is planning to introduce me to someone German marrying a Polish guy who both became members of a chassidic group. "Such a Zaddekes (righteous woman), the ladies claimed. You should take her as an example. Today even people from the outside world show us the way we should be normally finding ourselves".
I have to say that I enjoy my time visiting extreme chassidic groups and backyards but, nevertheless, I am always glad to get out after a while. This kind of society pressure, the neighbours, the Chatam Soifer, the backyard … is just too much for me. Maybe even too much for G - d Himself.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
do the people form toldos aharon, avrahom yitzhak, dushinsky, satmar, etc ever talk about the mishkenos
ReplyDeleteharoim ?
B"H
ReplyDeleteNO, they don't but some TA women go to their Tish.
I feel for you Miriam, though I'm coming at it from a different perspective. I wasted a decade of my life hanging around Aish haTorah hoping to meet someone to marry. After all, if you look at their promotional materials, they seem to be obsessed with Jewish continuity. But in reality, all they seem to care about is fundraising. Wish I knew then what I know now. I'd be a lot younger and wealthier, lol.
ReplyDeleteB"H
ReplyDeleteDidn't they try organizing you a Shidduch from Neve Yerushalaim or Eyat ?
Most Aish guys I got to know left after some time. Many went back to the States and I doubt that all of them remained religious.
I know Motti Berger and Shmuel Schwartz and when you look at those guys you get the impression that all they do is promoting themselves.
Aish more and more became a business and there is lots of money involved. Unfortunately, not to many students are taking this into consideration.
I don't know which is harder to believe, that they didn't set me up with ONE shidduch or that I bought their excuses for almost ten years. Sadly, though, both are true. Aish started off with all the right intentions. I have nothing but respect for Rabbi Weinberg, but as he grew weaker, so did his leadership, and the organization became a disorganization only committed to furthering the goals of each of its "rabbi's." It's a shame that a great man's life's work is little more than a pr firm for certain egotistical "rabbi's," but the truth is the truth, and it doesn't become less so by sweeping it under the carpet.
ReplyDeleteC'est la vie.
B"H
ReplyDeleteIf soneone has a big company in our days, he needs to deal with hightech, modern management, etc., and Rabbi Weinberg was older and, additionally, ill. Too many people are in charge today but I think that his wife, Rebbitzen Weinberg, still runs her Eyat program like a dictator.
My criticism on AISH is that there are too many people around calling themselves "Rabbis" but, in the end, only have a "Rabbi's certificate" from AISH. Means that they are no real rabbbis.
Why did you stay with AISH for such a long time ? In Jerusalem, hardly anyone stayes there for more than a few years.:-)
I was actually in a satellite branch, involved with them because there was nothing else in town (St. Louis.) Obviously if I had known then what I know now, I would have cut my losses much earlier, but it wasn't as if I were a full time student there, as you can only do that in Jerusalem and New York anyway. My friend and I created a blog, http://assimilaishion.blogspot.com/, no longer active, to detail our friends' and our own plight. There are a lot of victims of Aish out there. They like to brag about all of the ba'al tshuvas they make. What is not mentioned is how many bitter BT dropouts are left in their wake.
ReplyDeleteThey know about the situation, and are unapologetic, with one of their "rabbi's" referring to us as "collateral damage." Sweet, no? I guess Ahavas Yisroel is a one-way street for them. Again, c'est la vie.
B"H
ReplyDeleteI just know AISH in Jerusalem. I once joined their DISCOVERY Program and went to the "Essentials".
Many young American kids come to AISH or Ohr Sameach. Either they want to study or their parents send them away from home. Because of problems (e.g. drugs) or just to let them live their own lives for some time.
I saw quite a few guys getting very into AISH and their ideology. After a while, most of them leave and go back to the States, as AISH does not promote Aliyah or life in Israel. Their Rabbis hardly know Hebrew anyway.
Those former students going back either remain religious or become secular or traditional.
What I don't understand is how someone can stay in a Yeshiva he doesn't like or where he doesn't get along ? Why not look for a different program and be happier ?
Actually it is a Chilul HaShem to make BTs bitter and cause their dropout. Unfortunately, many Yeshivot don't see it this way but claim that they did right because the student was too problematic.
I wasn't in the yeshiva. Outside of their two main centers they don't have them. It's just a shul, with services on holidays and classes at night. So it wasn't like I was part of it 24/7. I just was involved in my free time. I gave them money. They claimed they'd help me find a Jewish wife. A decade later, I have neither, lol. It's easy to say, "Why didn't you go somewhere else?" but in St. Louis there are very limited options, and they make it clear if you go to Chabad you won't be welcomed back warmly. In hindsight it's easy to view things clearer. When you're caught up in the maelstrom, not so much.
ReplyDeleteB"H
ReplyDeleteI forgot that you live in the south. The famous Bible Belt without many Synagogues.:-)
How about Chabad in St. Louis ? Do they have any Chabadnikim there. I know it is very different from AISH but better than nothing.
I am not actually looking for a spouse but let me tell you that even in Israel, it is not easy finding someone to marry.
By the way, I cannot imagine AISH abroad looking for Shidduchim. In Jerusalem they usually try to match up some guys with the girls from Eyat, where Rebbitzen Weinberg teaches. But this is it.
ive actually left st louis now, but after wasting almost a decade down there hoping to meet a jewish girl, ive kinda given up on it now. i should have tried chabad a long time ago but like i said aish was so opposed to it i didn't dare give it a shot. oh well, hindsights 20/20. Neways, its 2 late 4 me, as ive given up. i just find it interesting how many other bt's they've turned off with their high pressure sales methods, and their complete tone deafness in trying to introduce singles to each other. surely my friends can't be the only ones. They actually have sites where those burnt by bt outreach tactics go. believe it or not, im on the low end of the bitterness spectrum compared to some of the others, lol!
ReplyDelete