Shidduch Call

B”H 

While I was trying very hard being a member of haredi society, different haredi friends were trying very hard getting me into their Shidduch “programmes”. I, on the other hand, wasn’t too interested, as I had enough difficulties managing my own daily religious life. As a Ba’al Teshuva (newly religious) you are mainly focusing on your own actions and I found it too hard listening to on another person whining. I have had enough problems with myself and didn’t want another person around telling me his difficulties in life. This way, I always escaped any Shidduch attempts successfully. 

Once I had two and sometimes three other female Ba’al Teshuva flatmates, and all of them were extremely busy finding their right match. One evening the phone was ringing and I answered. Another Shidduch guy was calling for one of the flatmates. I told him that she is not at home and he can call again later. 

I was about to hang up but he started asking me how this particular flatmate looks. If she is thin or fat, tall or short and what I think about her. Actually I found that quite disgusting and told him that he can call and ask her himself. 

“So, how about you”, he continued. “Are you looking for anyone ? Would you like to meet me because you sound interesting ?” 

I just hung up and didn’t tell anything to the flatmate who, later on, went out to meet that guy. 

By the way, it didn’t work out between them anyway. I was just surprised about the Chutzpah of this guy. Maybe I should have asked him whether he is thin or fat but one thing I can tell for sure: He was definitely stupid.