Nature in Jerusalem
Photo: Miriam Woelke
I am still having a few difficulties grasping that I am still alive. I was tremendously lucky that the Egged bus didn't crush me to death and that I was, more or less, only slightly injured. After leaving hospital, I said Birkat HaGomel. Thanking G - d for helping me out of a life danger. However, the question may be whether one surviving a certain incident now has the obligation of becoming totally frum. Do I owe this to G - d and was this His intention by showing me where my "real" path is going to be ?
Personally, I am not sure and I better don't start questioning. I think that G - d and me know very well that I am not this frummy type. I am anything but "obsessed" with prayer and constantly saying "Baruch HaShem". Although I actually do use the latter expression quite a lot. Surviving an accident doesn't necessarily mean putting on a skirt and running back to haredi society.
Of course, I am asking myself why this happened to me and why the bus just dragged me but didn't crush me. The truth is that I don't have an answer. A chassidic friend of mine would say that my laptop got crushed because G - d wanted me to show that the Internet is bad or that I shouldn't use Zionist (Egged) buses. Well, just kidding, but the truth is that everyone, including myself, may find a different explanation. However, reality is that none of us knows G - d's intentions and thoughts.
What I am going to do is enjoy life and avoid getting stressed and worn out. Despite all kinds of problems and difficulties in life we should never forget the beauty. There are actually other things besides a career, job, laptop, money or reputation. Once you find yourself in a very difficult position where neither money nor being famous will help you out, you may come to the realization that you need some good friends (and G - d) standing beside you. Therefore, take yourself time to live your own life and don't get dragged into a routine where only materialism counts. Suddenly, one day, you could start regretting having wasted your precious time on earth with too much vanity.