Saturday, January 9, 2010

Chozrei Be'She'ela with Chozrei Be'She'ela


"Chozer (Plural: Chozrei) Be'She'ela" = Frum Jews leaving religion and becoming secular

As someone religious, especially a Haredi, leaving his or her society it is extremely difficult to make friends in the secular society. A Chozer Be'She'ela may leave Halachot (but still remember Kashrut with every bite) but how does he find friends ?

As I wrote before, as a Chozer Be'She'ela you feel the strong desire to talk. Talk about your experiences, you life. Who in the secular society wants to listen to your never ending stories ? How much can secular Jews or those who have never been part of haredi society take ?

What I noticed with many Chozrei Be'She'ela that most of them look for new friends within their own runaway society. First they leave society and then they are somehow back. Back with further runaways because those are the only ones someone can deal with.

Of course, there may be some friends from different societies but when you really want to talk, you do this with other people of your kind. The question is whether this is a healthy attitude. Sometimes, but on the other hand, you have to leave the circle in order not to go insane. Start a new life and have new goals.

1 comment:

  1. Hi,

    its not all black and white. There are many hilonim more then ready to listen and help and be with them. Certainly its a tough decision for leave the prison of faith but freedom waits all along