Haredi Bashing Again

B"H

Lately, I have been referring quite a lot to the subject of "Chozre'i be' She'elah - Frummies becoming secular" or "Leaving the Fold". Whatever expression you prefer.

Of course, I am interested in this particular topic because I am still looking (hoping to find) for answers why I didn't succeed in joining a chassidic group although I was on my way. I basically know the answer (if there is only one) but I keep on searching. Maybe someone shows up with a new idea, who knows.

Anyone is free to leave haredi society and become secular or remain "modern" observant. Even those who live in extremly closed groups. Somehow people who really want to leave, eventually find a way out. Not mentioning the private problems they are going to face with themselves.

The majority of those people leaving is simply "leaving". They leave, may ask for help and continue their lives. None of them is making his way to Hollywood in order to set up a movie about his personal sufferings in the past. Sometimes those "off - the - derech" people may be in the newspaper, but most of them keep quiet because they are busy getting adjusted to a new life. They don't make a fuss about themselves but live. Work, get an education, find a place to live, a new home, new friends, a place in society ...

And many do not hate their parents or haredi society but close the chapter in their life. What I don't understand are the few cases of haredi bashing afterwards. People leaving and then only looking back in anger. Maybe they have a reason but, at the same time, they should realize that not the entire haredi society can be blamed for their misery. There are many many positive things happening in haredi society and not everyone is a molester or an blind extremist.

In fact, I have met more nice people than the opposite. Of course, there are always black sheep in society and nothing is perfect. However, not every haredi woman is suffering and not every haredi direction is limited, extreme or evil.

I think that we should always find the balance between the negative and the positive side without getting carried away one - sided !